Saturday, September 24, 2005

A Year Ago

On this day a year ago, I was one week away from getting married. I was stressed with the wedding and every little detail you can imagine. I was more than ready to just go to the justice of the peace and forget having a wedding. I thought that weddings were basically a waste of money even though our wedding and honeymoon were paid for with cash before the event arrived. I am forever grateful that we did not come back from our honeymoon to credit card bills to pay for everything that had already taken place. Because of this, we did have to decide what was important and what wasn't which is good for every bride and groom and to do many things ourselves in order to stay within our very small wedding budget. I used white candles and greenery and borrowed ficus trees instead of flowers for church decorations. My sister offered the ivy plants for table decorations at the reception that were used at her wedding several months before mine. I made my own dress not so much for financial reasons but for modesty even though I did save some money that way.I used my mother-in-law's headpiece and my sister-in-law's veil-they just happened to really match the trim on my dress.:-) I made my flower girl's dress out of white fabric I had on hand. We made our own invitations and a lot of the reception food.(We had a dessert reception.) But most of all, I couldn't have done it without all the great friends and family who offered their services and help. We didn't need to hire anyone for anything, except for the few bouquets of flowers and boutonnieres and for someone to run sound at the wedding(required by the church we rented).
The week leading up to our wedding was very stressful for both me and my husband. I think we argued more that week than the whole year we have been married even though we do have our little disagreements now and then. A friend told me later that she had come to the conclusion that if I didn't kill my husband (then fiance) before the wedding, he had the potential of living a long and happy life!!! I didn't think it was that bad, but I do know that my mom and others wondered seriously if the wedding would ever happen. I had a major case of cold feet and nerves.
But amazingly enough, by the day of our wedding, I was extremely calm and sure of myself. I had come to the conclusion that by that stage, whatever that was going to happen would happen. I won't ever regret having a wedding even though I don't think I would be up to planning another one. :-) Everything went smoothly. The wedding was beautiful, original, and meaningful, just like we wanted.
In this week leading up to our very first anniversary, I certainly don't feel the stress that I felt a year ago.Life has settled down to a steady, busy pace. We have grown a lot as a couple in 12 months. Without giving it much thought, we have created our own daily schedule and routines. It is funny how easily we have fallen into our respective roles- he just does certain things and I automatically do other things. Over and over we have been thankful that even in the busyness of wedding planning, we took time to plan for our marriage. We read books together, got some great pre-marital counselling, and took time to learn what God's plan was for our marriage and home. Our wedding lasted for one day and its details that caused such stress were soon forgotten. Our marriage is meant to last a lifetime. We have certainly not arrived yet; we still have a lot to learn and issues to work on. Stay tuned as I share thoughts on marriage this week!

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